


What He Means to Say Is

by jedishampoo



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sex Pollen, Top!Levi, bottom!Erwin, implied Moblit/Hange, lighthearted shenanigans, science gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-11
Updated: 2014-02-11
Packaged: 2018-01-11 22:24:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1178669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedishampoo/pseuds/jedishampoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't drink Hange's sex-water, Erwin, or your fantasies might come true.  </p><p>Sex-pollen fic, old-school style with plenty of dorkiness, Levi/Erwin in that order.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What He Means to Say Is

**Author's Note:**

> Lighthearted sex-pollen fic from a kink meme prompt for drunk/sex-pollen/experiment gone wrong and Erwin & Levi. Please feel free to point out any inaccuracies or share your thoughts on characterization! :) Thanks to the wondersful conjure-lass for cheering me on and despina for beta-reading (fixed SO MANY TYPOS since I posted this even last night), and to the kink meme OP!

“So,” Erwin said, then paused for a deep breath.  He tapped his fingers on his desk in a slow rhythm, one, two, three, one, two, three, to show that he was hardly affected at all, that the ache grinding its way through his bloodstream had not, in fact, become uncomfortably acute.  “So!  How did the new recruits get their hands on it?"  
  
Hange bounced in her chair.  It wasn't her usual bounce, full of excited scientific energy, but a more lurid kind of bounce, like kissing the chair with her bottom over and over and over.   
  
"Well, I'd set Connie to helping clean up in my work area--"  
  
"That moron?" Levi said.  
  
"Aww, he's okay!" Hange protested.  "Anyway, he asked what it was -- if it was booze.  I was a little hyped up about it, you know, and joked that it was super-liquor, the magical elixir of booze.  Welcome to the Survey Corps, kiddo, I said!"  Hange laughed.  "Well, apparently he and Jean Kirstein dumped it into the water barrel we used with dinner, and most of us drank it."  
  
" _That_ moron," Levi said.  His fingers were visibly shaking; he caught Erwin's look and shoved his hands into his armpits.  He glared darkly at nobody in particular.   
  
Erwin looked away from Levi, because poking at one's own weaknesses was foolish.  
  
"Indeed," he said.  He cleared his throat and continued the _one two three_ on the wooden tabletop to hide the trembling of his own fingers.  "And so what exactly is it?"  
  
Hange blushed.   
  
"Ahhh.  Well.  I was trying something new, trying to find the root cause of Titan growth and reproduction.  Something to stimulate replication in living things!  So I mocked up a growth and ester serum from base chemical components and got a blood sample from Eren, like I did with Bean before he was killed.  I heated it all together, then distilled--"  
  
"Did we fucking drink Eren's blood?"  Levi uncrossed his legs and started to rise out of his chair, perhaps to strangle Hange.  Then he seemed to think better of getting up.  
  
"No, no, don't worry!  It dissipates, as you--"  
  
"Never mind the exact ingredients," Erwin said.  He shifted his ass on his chair to relieve some pressure in his trousers.  "What's the effect?"  
  
Hange bounced.  "Basically, the gonads of everyone of reproductive age have gone into a state of--"  
  
"Layman's terms, Hange."  
  
"We're all really, really horny until it goes away.  Um.  Really.  Desperately?"  
  
"How long is that, Sir?" Moblit cut in.  
  
Hange turned, eyes crinkling thoughtfully behind her glasses.  "Hmm, given a normal metabolism, maybe twelve, thirteen hours?  Fifteen?"  
  
There was a general groan of "oh, God," around the room.  
  
"All those teenagers," Moblit mumbled.  
  
Talk about teenagers; Erwin felt like one.  Like ten of them, all having wet dreams at once.  "You said most of us, Hange.  Who is not most?" he interrupted to forestall panic.   
  
"Eren Yeager, because he was part of the experiment.  Oluo and Mike, because they drank beer. So they're all only normally aroused."  
  
Mike chuckled.  
  
Erwin tapped his chin with his non-drumming hand, then caressed his lips, then caught himself doing it.  "So we should divide the.  Ah.  Youngsters up between those two?  For supervision?"  
  
Hange and Levi both gave Erwin what looked like pitying gazes.  Mike's eyebrows rose in alarm.   
  
"There's no stopping that flow, Erwin," he said.  
  
"It's already rather a frenzy," Moblit fretted.  
  
"Maybe such quick action will negate the effects?  Regardless, they'll just wear each other out eventually, I suppose," Hange said.  
  
Erwin tried desperately not to let the image of that scenario infiltrate his brain, but was unsuccessful.  It made his pulse-pounding erection seem all the more inappropriate.  He sighed, then clenched his tapping fingers together into a fist and pounded it on the table, once.  "Work on an antidote, then.  And Oluo, Mike, keep an eye on them anyway.  Within reasonable and proper limits, of course.  To be sure my leadership abilities aren't going to be compromised, I'm going to stay in\this room and wait it out.  Notify me immediately if there's an antidote or an emergency."  
  
One corner of Levi's frown looked like it was struggling not to quirk up with amusement.  "Coward.  I'm staying, too," he murmured in a voice so low that Erwin's pulse pounded even harder and faster.  
  
"Oh hoh hoh!" Hange cried with wide eyes.  
  
Erwin gave her a Look.  "You should bring Eren here, however."  
  
Levi's frown stabilized, but he nodded.  "... Yeah.  If he loses control, everyone else will be too busy fucking to kill him."  
  
"Yeah," Hange said breezily, then stood.  "C'mon, Moblit.  Let's get to work."  
  
"Oh, yes, sir," Moblit breathed and followed her out, clenching one corner of her jacket as if he'd never let go.  His expression hovered somewhere between nervousness and exhilaration.  Mike simply looked terrified.  
  
Erwin clenched his hands upon his desktop and smiled, steady and reassuring, at everyone as they left.  Only when the door was shut did he let his grin slip into something like a grimace.  
  
"Hmph," Levi said.  Erwin risked a glance over at him; Levi was sitting as cross-legged and unconcerned-looking as usual. Only his tightly clamped armpits and his bouncing foot conveyed what he was feeling. Erwin thought about what that might be; the idea of Levi, sexually aroused, sent Erwin's gut twisting. Their relationship had been built on learned mutual trust and a shared desire to see humanity triumph over the Titans and reclaim the outside world, and Erwin had struggled to keep his more personal -- if all too human -- fantasies at bay.  Now, however, because of a silly accident, those fantasies were taking shape in reality.  
  
"Should you ... Ah.  Are you worried about your squad?" Erwin ventured, to distract himself.  
  
Levi had fantastic control over his own physical movements; he turned his head slowly and fixed Erwin with a narrow-eyed gaze.  
  
"I trust them to take care of themselves.  Otherwise, what's the point of having them?"  
  
"True," Erwin said.  
  
Levi's throat worked for a moment as if he were attempting to swallow.  "I trust them, and you, and that's why I'm here."  
  
"That's good."  Erwin's chest tightened, his ribs squeezing his heart and lungs in a way that had nothing to do with the state of his gonads.  "I should have gone out there, shouldn't I?"  
  
Levi's almost-smile made a brief return.  "Yeah."  
  
"At least we know they learned about protection in trainee camp," Erwin sighed.  
  
"It's us that make this difficult," Levi said before turning away.  
  
Erwin's heart stopped for a long moment.  He was getting better at interpreting Levi-speak, but this one had him a little stumped, because of that _us_ ...  "What do you--"  
  
Just then the door opened and Eren was thrust through it.  He looked mussed, with his shirt untucked and hanging wrinkledly over his trousers.  His expression was even more wide-eyed and confused than usual.   
  
"--Ah!  Lock the door, please, Eren," Erwin told him.  
  
"Oh.  Okay, sir," Eren mumbled as he complied.  
  
"Now sit in the corner and be quiet until we can be sure you're not going to jump anyone or turn into a Titan," Levi said.  
  
Eren started a little at his voice.  "Jump?  Uh.  Of-- of course, Corporal," Eren said.  He sat, shoved his hands between his knees, and looked back and forth between the two of them and the floor as if seeking a safe place to store his gaze.  Erwin smiled at him.  Truthfully, having Eren there helped, gave him something to focus on other than the conflict between the wishes of his body and heart and brain.  
  
"Do you believe like you are in control of yourself, Eren?" Erwin asked.  
  
"Yes, sir!" Eren said, straightening in his chair.  Then he slumped.  "But I feel like this is my fault."  
  
Levi rolled his eyes.  "Our current mission revolves around you, Eren.  The world doesn't."  
  
"Huh?  Oh.  Of course," Eren said, his gaze clearing as Levi's meaning sunk in.  He straightened again.  
  
For a few minutes all three of them were silent.  Levi found a corner to stare at.  Eren looked at him, at Erwin, and at the floor, over and over and not necessarily in that order.  Erwin scratched meaningless notes on a piece of paper and tried to ignore the thumping, sighing, and shouting noises that filtered in through the stone walls and thick wooden door.  All along his hairline his skin began to tingle as sweat broke out from his pores and cool air trapped it against his heated skin.  He wondered if his face was flushed, like Levi's was--  
  
"I'm worried about my friends.  Is there something I can do to help?" Eren ventured in a small voice.  
  
"Eventually we'll need to punish the idiots responsible.  Tell us, Eren: what do you think we should do to whom?" Levi said with a slow tilt of his head that brought his dark hair down to cover his eyes.  
  
"Uh, I'm not sure I could do that, Corporal--" Eren mumbled.  
  
"You are a loyal comrade, Eren, and I understand," Erwin said, narrowing his eyes at Levi.  "Squad Leader Zoe may need you to help with an antidote."  
  
"We're starting with four-eyes, definitely," Levi said.  
  
"We'll see in ..."  Erwin looked at his watch.  He sighed.  "A sadly large number of hours."  
  
"Dammit," Levi murmured.  
  
He yanked off his neckcloth and fiddled with it, folding and refolding it before stowing it in his pocket.  That wasn't like him.  Their long acquaintance clued Erwin in that he was uncomfortable and unable to express it through pacing or speaking too openly, lest Eren understand the extent of his physical struggle.  
  
Erwin could sympathize.  In his case it was even worse, because his body's desires had an object who was sitting in front of him, being himself, being all the things that Erwin admired and valued.  His fringe of hair could never disguise the intensity of his gaze, and no amount of precise muscle control could hide the vitality of his form.  
  
Though what had he meant by _it's us that makes this difficult?_  
  
The prickling sweat spread from Erwin's hairline over his face, down his neck and across every inch of his skin.  He shrugged off his coat and began to hang it on the back of his chair, then changed his mind and draped it across his lap.  
  
Eren fanned himself.  "It is very hot, sir."  
  
"Yes," Erwin said.  
  
"Hah," Levi said.  He was watching Erwin.  
  
"Um.  Did you -- " Eren halted and looked down at his fingers for a few moments, watching them twiddle in his lap.  "I hope you weren't affected?"  
  
"I'm fine!  It's just the heat," Erwin said.   
  
"... hah," Levi repeated.  
  
"Oh," Eren said.   
  
The noises outside the door, the thumping and laughing and sighing and, yes, dear God, moaning, waxed and waned, rose and fell like a river in a storm, a swell of horny humanity.  Very young humanity.  Erwin was a terrible commander; he could never promise not to kill any of them, but he should at least be able to keep them from falling victim to accidents inside his own headquarters.  
  
 _prob. more pleasant than dying at least,_ Erwin scratched onto his paper.  _think I'm dying_  
  
Levi switched leg positions several times.  Erwin noticed.  He also noticed Eren, who was sitting stock-still, had lips that were trembling.  His eyes had a suspicious wet look to them.  
  
"We live in interesting times, don't we?" Erwin said, just as a particularly loud moan wormed its way through the cracks in the stone walls.  
  
"Yessir?" Eren said, eyes widening.  
  
"This is only a sign of what insanity may come.  Humanity's grown beyond what it was, grown confined in its own walls," Levi said.  
  
Every now and then Levi came out with those dark pronouncements, and that one, Erwin could translate: humanity was weakened by imprisonment.  Erwin agreed, but they could worry about humanity when the current, er, crisis was over.   
  
"You can read and write, yes, Eren?" Erwin said, his tone over-jovial.  
  
"Yes!" Eren said.  His glum expression evaporated.  
  
"Good.  Come take these diagrams -- see the blank ones?" He handed Eren some papers with the newest scouting formations drawn upon them, along with a pen.  "Can you copy the position names from this master onto the blanks? Double-check your work."  
  
"Of course, sir!" Eren cried.  He was obviously glad to have a job to do besides stare at his superior officers and feel guilty.  Soon he was seated at a table, scritching away, his tongue sticking out from between his lips.  
  
Levi rolled his eyes at Erwin and then looked away with pointed slowness.  He switched leg positions again, wincing as he did so.  Erwin watched, fascinated, and wondered how deep Levi's affliction went.  His belly shuddered and sent a chill of lust up his spine.  It snapped one of the reins of control Erwin held over his brain, and more of the fantasy slipped out.  But as long as he didn't act, he told himself, then imagination could surely do no harm?   
  
In his imagination he might get up from his desk and walk over to Levi.  He might touch his shoulder, squeeze it, feel the taut and compact muscle under his fingers.  He might lean down and lick the sweat he could see sheening Levi's upper lip, and watch the way Levi's eyes went even more half-lidded.  Perhaps Levi would run his nimble hands under Erwin's shirt, their coolness easing the awful, awful, frantic, burning ache that had taken over his body--  
  
A squeaky sort of groan escaped the back of his throat.  The sound cut through the scritching of Eren's pen and even the racket from outside the room, startling his brain out of its creative perversions.  He realized Levi and Eren were both staring at him open-mouthed.  
  
Erwin coughed and fumbled for the pen and paper on his desk, and he glanced at his watch and realized that only an hour or so had passed since this whole thing had begun.  He was never going to make it--  
  
 _\--dying--  
_  
Someone knocked at the door.  Hange's voice followed the knock.  
  
"It's me!  I figured it out!  I'm over it!"  
  
"We're not, stupid," Levi called.  .  
  
"Ha! I can totally fight you off."  
  
Erwin gestured and Eren jumped up from his writing to undo the latch.  Hange tripped in, followed by Moblit.  They were both disheveled.  Hange's hair had escaped its ties and was sticking to her pink face.  
  
She looked good.  Even Levi's eyes widened when he saw her, testament to the power of her illicit and ill-advised science.  
  
"Wow, you look like hell," she said.  
  
"An antidote?" Erwin asked, noticing a lack of vials or beakers in Hange's hands.  
  
"Nope.  But all you gotta do is screw once or twice and it goes away. Exercise and orgasm equal release of endorphins and body humors that speed up metabolism and should counteract the effects of the ... ah, the solution."  
  
Eren was gaping and turning nearly as pink as Hange.  Erwin wanted to laugh but didn't dare.  "Still, shouldn't you work on it?  What about those who don't care to, ah, partake?"  
  
"Can't you hear how quiet it's gotten?  Told you they'd wear themselves out."  
  
"Perhaps it's something that could be taken care of, er."  He waved his hand over his body, not pointing to any swollen parts specifically.  “Ourselves?”  
  
"Mmmm.  Maybe.  But it really doesn't get your heart rate up like it should."  
  
Levi snorted.  Eren snorted.  Then Levi glared at Hange for a moment before looking to Erwin.   
  
"We live hard and die hard, Erwin.  Most of us do, anyway," he said.  
  
Levi could be a real jerk.  Erwin sighed and slumped in his chair.  He didn't know what Levi was trying to accomplish with all his pointed remarks, but it was certainly wearing him down.   
  
"Well, I'll try and be an example, then.  Suffer for my people?"  
  
Hange shrugged.  "Suffer for science!  I'll still work on a solution to counteract it, now that I can focus.  It would be irresponsible of me as a researcher not to do so, anyway."  
  
"And then we’ll hang you outside the wall as Titan bait," Levi said.  
  
"Nah, we'll use Connie and Jean for that."  
  
Sometimes Erwin wished that the people he trusted most would be slightly less irreverent.  Unfortunately, in that case they wouldn't be the same people.  
  
"Guess I'll suffer, too," Levi said.  
  
Hange's eyebrow quirked in an attitude of skepticism.  Then she looked between them, Erwin and Levi, a couple of times.  Then her mouth formed an "O."   
  
"I'll need Eren, of course.  Come on with me, kiddo," she said stomping over to grab his arm.  
  
Eren bit his lip.  "Wait!  Shouldn't I finish the diagrams?"  
  
"Later," Erwin said.  "It's fine.  Check on your friends.  With discretion, of course."  
  
"Of course, sir," Eren said, and then the lot of them were gone.   
  
As Erwin watched, Levi uncrossed his legs -- such finely shaped legs they were -- and set his bootheel upon the floor with a deliberate-sounding _clomp_.  Then he stood, brushing off his clothing.  After that he sauntered over to the door and shut it.  The _click_ of the lock sliding home was also loud and emphatic.  
  
Erwin cleared his throat.  "It is quieter out there.  You must give Hange that," he said.  
  
"I'll give Hange a good."  Levi canted his hips, then made a fist and swung it up in an arc.  "Sword in the ass."  
  
"Was that innuendo?"  
  
"Hmm.  Maybe," Levi said.  He walked back across the room, watching Erwin with a steady, dark gaze as he did so.  He did not reseat himself in his chair but stepped past it without a backwards glance.  He approached the desk and Erwin's heart stopped beating.  As he neared touching distance Erwin's lungs forgot how to breathe air ...  
  
Levi perched on the edge of the desk. He swiped his finger along the wooden top, then frowned at his fingertip.  
  
"What?" Erwin whispered.  
  
"'More pleasant than dying?  Think I'm dying?'"  
  
"What?" Erwin said, more loudly.  
  
Levi tapped the paper with the messy notes written upon it.  Heat flared in Erwin's cheeks, not only from lust.  "That's ... nothing," he said, and crumpled the page up into a wad.  
  
One of Levi's eyebrows rose.  "Sure you're all right, Erwin?" he asked.  
  
"I'm fine.  I think the effects are getting better instead of worse," Erwin lied.  
  
"Huh.  But you're sweating.  And you're breathing like a winded horse."  
  
Erwin couldn't even laugh at the uncomplimentary comparison.  "I'm not breathing at all," he admitted in a voice made rough by a mouth gone dry.  
  
"Suffering for science.  Why are we making a big deal about this again?" Levi said in a low voice.  He half-turned and lifted one thigh up to rest on the desktop.  Pink suffused his cheeks as he did it and Erwin had a sudden revelation: Levi was as nervous as himself.  But unlike him, Levi was attempting to do something about it, barreling along on bravado made of pure balls.  Just like he always did.  Erwin owed no less than the same bravery.   
  
“Well, uh…”  
  
“You’re not going to say something about discipline or rules, are you?”  
  
“No!”  Erwin forced a quick breath into his lungs and began to speak before he could overthink it.  "Well.  Because I owe it to everyone, and you most of all, to ... show that I can overcome adversity.  To be trustworthy.  And I always thought if something like that happened between two people who … care for each other, that it shouldn’t be forced or …"  
  
He trailed off when he realized Levi was looking at him with his eyes widened uncharacteristically.  Then he realized what he’d said.  
  
"I'm not all right.  I just ... regret that I should do something in so harum-scarum a manner," he tacked on, lamely.  
  
Levi pounded the desk with one fist, much as Erwin had done earlier, and released an exasperated _whoosh_ of breath that sent the hair at his forehead flying.  Then he swung his other leg up and over the desk.  Before Erwin half-realized it, Levi had scooted himself across the desk and onto Erwin's lap, knocking aside his jacket and straddling him.  
  
"Oh, hell," Erwin said as Levi glared at him, nose to nose, smelling like sweat and soap solution and maneuver gear, his ass warm on Erwin's thighs.  He was heavier than he looked.  
  
Somewhere papers went flying off the desk but right there Levi was kissing him, the force of it ungentle but his mouth soft and open, his breath hot.  Erwin tilted his head and let it happen, let Levi _oh God Levi_ take down Wall Erwin brick by brick until he was clutching Levi's back under his jacket.  
  
After the first, few chaotic moments they settled into something less desperate, more indulgent.  Levi pressed as close as he could in the chair, thumbs on Erwin's cheeks and his tongue sweeping across Erwin's lips.  Erwin got the answer to one of his mental questions from earlier; Levi was aroused all right, at least as hard as himself; their flesh caught a rhythm and they ground their bodies against each other in undulations that matched their breaths.  
  
"Much better," Levi murmured into Erwin's mouth after a while.  
  
"Mmm," Erwin moaned.  He raced his fingers up and down Levi's sides, his hips, his armpits.  Levi hissed when Erwin slipped a hand under his shirt and pressed a palm against the hot, sticky skin at his side, feeling the tensed muscles working beneath it.  
  
Levi started doing something that should have felt to Erwin like his ear was being chewed off, but which actually felt so wonderful his knees shook.  
  
"So you wanted to, t-- too?" Erwin huffed into Levi's shoulder.  
  
"To to to?"  
  
"Smartass.  Ah!"  
  
Levi was squirming about, trying to kiss Erwin and wrangle himself out of his jacket at the same time.  In an attempt to help, Erwin yanked at one sleeve just as Levi wrenched himself sideways and they succeeded only in rocking the chair on its legs and trapping Levi in his own clothing.  
  
"Fuck. Fuck," Levi said, shoving himself against Erwin to twist himself out.  Soon his jacket joined Erwin's on the floor.  "Fuck!"  
  
"Good idea," Erwin sighed.  
  
"Harum and scarum.  But not in this _fucking_.  Chair!"  Athletic as ever, Levi used a grip on Erwin's shoulders to push himself up and back onto the desk.  With one swift, booted kick he sent the chair flying against the wall behind the desk.  
  
Erwin's stomach dropped as he lost his balance and sprawled on the floor with a noisy _thump_.  
  
"Ow," he said, and would have said more but Levi fell on him like death from above, stealing all his air with his weight and his mouth.  His hands weren't cool at all on Erwin's frantic flesh; they were hot, like all the rest of his skin.   
  
Erwin was trying to get to it under Levi's clothing, but there were so many buckles and buttons!  Their uniforms were entirely too complicated and he couldn't focus, not with the pounding of his heart in his ears and the way Levi had shoved his hand down the back of Erwin's trousers to grab the bare flesh of his ass, pressing him into the roll of his hips.  
  
Erwin's belly tightened until his balls were fit to burst; he was going to come in his pants like a trainee.  Damn Hange's ... sex-water, anyway.  And damn Levi, who was going to kill him, just as he'd threatened to years ago--  
  
Suddenly Levi pushed away, propping himself on his hands and hovering above him with a narrow-eyed gaze.  
  
"Has it been a while? You're clumsy," he said, breathing hard.  
  
Well, part of trust was learning to hear the truth.  Even if one was the commander.  
  
"And here I was, trying to be all romantic," Erwin huffed back, just as breathless.  
  
"Hah," Levi said.  Miracle of miracles, he smiled, showing a flash of white teeth and a crinkle of his eyes at the corners.  
  
 _Aha!_ Erwin had found Levi's weakness: talk sweet to him.  
  
He rolled to his knees, pulling Levi up with him.  Then he could work on getting his own trousers undone.  If he was going to go splurting about like a teenager, hell if he would do it all over the clothes someone else had to wash.  
  
No sooner had they kicked and peeled their boots off and yanked their trousers down than Levi clambered up onto his lap, his bare ass sliding on Erwin's thighs until they were nose-to-nose again.  Damned if Levi didn't have the cutest nose, not that Erwin would ever dare say so aloud.  
  
"This is better than suffering!  I'm glad I can trust you to make the right decisions," Erwin murmured.  
  
"The good part is you don't even have to say it," Levi retorted with a glare, but his cheeks, already shiny, flushed a bedroom pink.  Erwin's breath caught: how often had he imagined Levi looking at him like that?  It was almost unbearably intimate.  
  
Erwin grinned and licked the sweat above Levi's lip, just as he'd wanted to earlier.  Then, being very deliberate and not clumsy, he trailed his fingers down' Levi's shuddering belly to palm his cock.   
  
Levi tensed and hissed again, digging his fingers into Erwin's shoulder.  "This will need to be quick," he said and grabbed Erwin's cock in return, not gentle at all, thank God.  
  
Maybe they were both a little clumsy, or at least they never managed to find a matching rhythm: Erwin tried to be slow, thorough, while Levi worked his hand on Erwin's cock hard and fast.  And though their position evened out their height difference nicely, they couldn't even kiss properly with their mutual focus on getting off.  
  
Erwin settled for shoving his nose into the join of Levi's neck and shoulder, just above the gaping collar of his shirt.  There he could suck at the sweat dripping from Levi's hair and taste his mad pulse under his ear, feel the flexing of the tendons in his throat as he worked his hand.  
  
Such furious molestation of Erwin's already rock-hard cock could hardly be borne for long, especially not with the knowledge of who was doing it: Levi, the most intense person Erwin had ever known.  To have that intensity focused on him, all on him, was nearly heart-crushing.  
  
Erwin's body and brain soon fell victim; the ache in his balls coiled hot and tightened his belly for a few long moments so perfect he wanted to twine them with ropes and hold them forever.  But all too soon he grunted his release into Levi's sticky hair, just before Levi stiffened and huffed short _ah-ah_ s into Erwin's shoulder and dug his perfectly trimmed nails into his back, four lovely, sharp points of pain.  Erwin's fingers went all slippery and still Levi jerked his hand on him, wrenching out one of the sharpest and longest orgasms Erwin could remember having experienced.  He was definitely dying.  
  
Slowly Levi relaxed his fingers and they sagged together, taking deep, gulping breaths of each other's skin.  Erwin patted Levi's dark hair and whispered, before he could think better of it, "I don't know how, but that was wonderful."  
  
"Nnngh," Levi groaned, either at the sentiment or his physical situation in general.  He pushed back a little to rest his forehead against Erwin's.  He examined his own hand between them.  "What a mess."  
  
Erwin liked the mess, truthfully.  Humans were messy creatures, but he preferred them to all others.  Especially this one.  He inhaled deep and slow, and then released it in a drawn-out sigh.  "So .. are you "over it,' as Hange says?"  
  
"No," Levi said.  Erwin found the eyeroll that accompanied it charming, given that Levi's face was all washed with color and his lips were a little slack. "Took the edge off, barely.  We're too old for this."  
  
"You sweet-talker, you," Erwin said.  
  
"This has already taken years too long.  Let's fuck."  
  
 _Translation: I want you and I have for a while.  Let's fuck._   Erwin's heart leapt up into this mouth and he chewed it for a few moments.  All he could choke out around it was, "Um.  Okay?"  
  
"Idiot," Levi said.  
  
At least they didn't have to grope and flail like teenagers and could kiss like proper adults, tenderly and with open eyes and brief touches of lips and tongues, conveying sentimental information with the force of their gazes, much like their hand-signals worked in the field.  Well, until the whole thing devolved into a mutual attempt to eat each other whole.  Erwin thought he might understand Titans at last: his heart returned to its rightful place and proceeded to thump so hard it felt as if his whole body shook, sending blood to reawaken his flesh to its prior state of frantic urgency.   
  
With a shove Levi pushed Erwin flat on his back.  He certainly had a lot of strength for his size: witness the chair.  Witness the poor Titans he excelled at slashing to bits.  Scaling Wall Erwin was nothing.  And his hands exposed every sensitive spot Erwin possessed, some previously unknown to him.  The last rib on his left side would apparently send chills racketing about his body when stroked.  In return he discovered that Levi's leg twitched when his ear was well-licked.  He had very clean ears, and he made lovely _mmmnngh_ noises, also.  
  
The noise, the touch, all of it, thickened Erwin's cock back into throbbing status.  So soon after, even, like it hadn't in ... um, ever?  
  
"So have you ever been fucked, Erwin?"  Trust Levi to ask the pertinent questions.   
  
"Have you?"  
  
"I asked first."  
  
They weren't even close to being proper adults.  And he'd never fantasized being on the receiving end, but -- bravery and resolve!  "Not by you.  God, I want you to crawl inside me right now," he admitted.  
  
"Good answer," Levi said with a blissful-sounding sigh.  He closed his eyes and leaned into Erwin's fingers as they caressed his jaw and the nape of his neck, right where one might take down a Titan.  There might not be a need to kill him: his heart rate was definitely up.  They might survive this yet.  "Do you have oil -- lubricant?"  
  
"Um.  There's three-dee-em-gee oil in my desk."  
  
Levi's eyelids snapped open and his nose-wrinkled glare was ominous.  "I am not putting that on my dick."  
  
An impasse.  Before it could be resolved, however, Erwin realized that the thumping was not all in their poor bodies.  Someone was knocking at the door, softly at first and then more loudly.  
  
Levi realized it, too.  "Go away!  Take a shit and die," he hollered in the direction of the door.  
  
"Roger that, _Corporal_ ," came Hange's muffled voice, trailing away.  
  
Levi shifted his glower back to Erwin and his eyes widened just the tiniest bit.  Perhaps they were getting it after all, this wordless, handless communication: they both had questions that needed to be answered sharpish, along the lines of "will there be shit?" and "can we do this already?"  
  
Levi spoke first.  "The oil will wash off."  
  
"I had a bath earlier, but I'm willing to take another one later.  Second drawer."  
  
Impasse resolved: Levi nodded and crawled off Erwin to reach into the desk.  Erwin raised himself to his elbows and watched.  If they were going to be ridiculous it didn't hurt to enjoy it, though somehow Levi looked graceful and deliberate as ever, even wearing only a shirt, a coating of drying semen on his stomach, and a hard-on.  
  
It was a quite nice hard-on, even if being proposed for unexpected purposes.  Erwin was hot enough for it -- literally -- that he felt more anticipation than trepidation.  "On my knees or like this?" he asked, scrunching his knees up.  
  
"Stay like that if your back can take it."  Levi had the oil.  He curled his lip at it but unscrewed the lid and dumped some onto his hand.  
  
Erwin melted a little into the floor.  He would take anything, if Levi was the one dishing it out.  "I don't deserve you," he said.  
  
It had been the truth and not entirely planned, but it worked.  All the pointy edges of Levi's expression softened as he crawled back over between Erwin's bent legs.  He kissed Erwin's fluttering belly, hot and open-mouthed, as he worked an oiled finger into the crack of Erwin's ass and pressed inside.  
  
Erwin fought not to fall back and arch into the touch; he wanted to watch.  Thus he was a surprised if willing spectator when Levi moved his lips onto Erwin's cock.  
  
"Ah!  Ah, god," he cried as Levi's soft, wet mouth caressed the pulsing center of all his troubles.  It was the sucking that followed that finally killed him and sent all his limbs burning, and snapped the thread of resolve that kept him upright.  He flopped back to the floor, hitting his head with a thump.  
  
"Thought that might relax you," Levi murmured from somewhere below.  He curled his finger into Erwin's ass and Erwin moaned again.  
  
"Roger that," he managed, eventually.  
  
"Hah," Levi laughed, a rather broken sound.   
  
Physical differences could be overcome with the right impetus, and they had that.  It was all about angles and balance, and they had those down, too, thanks to three-D training.  Erwin found that if he propped one foot against the side of the desk, then Levi could fuck him without having to bear the weight of his thighs.   
  
Thus Levi gave him an excellent pounding for a respectable while, whispering "That's good, Erwin. Like that," with a hoarse voice, and stroked his cock with gentle fingers until Erwin was straining his back for more and had to clench his teeth not to beg to _let him come, dammit_.  After a few minutes, however, they got too sweaty and Erwin's foot and back slipped on the slickened wood, knocking them out of rhythm.   
  
Levi cursed and hauled Erwin's thigh up to his shoulder, grabbing Erwin's hand and twining their fingers together to give him balance; Erwin watched the ceiling and rocked into Levi's thrusts, each one hitting him deep enough to send shocks of sensation, over and over, tingling through his nerves to curl his fingers and toes.  It seemed his body was so alive he could feel every tiny hair on Levi's knuckles.  He was yanked into a sudden, wrenching climax, cut short when their sweaty fingers slipped apart and his leg came crashing down.  
  
"Shit.  I was almost there," Levi said, wincing.  
  
"I'm -- ah-- good to keep going if you are," Erwin told him.  "It might kill us, though."  
  
Levi wound his shoulder in its socket as if working out a crick.  "Hell if we go before Four-Eyes Zoe does."  
  
Erwin had an idea, the best one yet: he would rest his back against the desk and his foot on the chair.  It was worth the crick in his neck to be able to watch at last as Levi fucked him, see the fluttering of his eyelashes on his cheek, his open mouth as he huffed with effort.  This way Erwin could hold on, too, one hand sliding in Levi's wiry shoulder and the other clutching Levi's fingers again, because he'd liked that.  
  
Levi did too, it seemed, for he held on, fingers tight and unyielding as if he was dangling from a cliff.  A wall.  Wall Infinity.  Something.  
  
Erwin shifted his hips to meet Levi's thrusts as they accelerated, bearing every scrape of the drawer handle on his raw shoulder blade because his belly was unfurling and every sharp, exquisite ache built until each must surely be his last--  
  
Levi came first, _ah_ ing from between reddened lips and jerking his hips unrhythmically.  Erwin would bear this near-miss of his own as he'd done the first, for the privilege of watching.  
  
Such was unnecessary.  Levi slipped his cock out with a wet noise, then leaned in until he could nuzzle the underside of Erwin's jaw.  With sweat-stinging fingers on skin made tacky by drying semen, he quickly brought Erwin past Wall Infinity into a final, nerve-shattering climax.  
  
The way they sagged against each other that time had a sense of finality to it.  It was a relief, really.  Erwin was sore in places he probably hadn't exercised in years.  
  
"I'm over it.  I think," Levi muttered after a while.  
  
"I know it happened, but how was it even possible?" Erwin sighed into Levi's damp hair.  
  
"Mysteries of fucking science," Levi said.  
  
After a few more minutes of not becoming sexually aroused, they agreed it was time to get re-dressed.  Past the point of peeling themselves off each other, however, they didn't discuss anything beyond the niceties of getting everything straightened up.  Erwin couldn't think of any more sweet things to say that would be wouldn't sound out of place post-"over-it," and Levi seemed to be wearing a look that was dreading sweet things, anyway.   
  
At least they had a focus, since both of them were a little fastidious about their appearance and had much practice dressing well and quickly.  Regardless, the final product was half-assed on both sides: Erwin just couldn't care about re-buckling all the buckles, and Levi sighed over his crumpled cravat and shoved it back into his pocket.  
  
Still, half-assed was better than bare-assed.  When Hange knocked at the door again, Levi could unlock it with something approaching his normal air of pissed-off.  
  
She tripped in, followed by Moblit like before, but less rumpled and carrying a beaker of something red to boot.  She looked back and forth between them, Levi next to his chair and Erwin behind his desk, and still raised her eyebrows even beyond the rims of her glasses.   
  
"Everything's quiet, and I have an antidote.  I think.  But maybe I should save it?"  
  
"I'm never drinking anything you hand me, ever again," Levi said, crossing his arms and leaning against the chair back.  "Ever."  
  
"Aww," Hange grinned.  
  
"I'm bribing Moblit to be my personal taster, I think," Erwin put in.  
  
"I don't blame you, sir," Moblit murmured.  
  
"Where is Eren?" Levi asked.  
  
"In his dungeon.  Mike and Oluo are keeping an eye on him, which is to say, they're teaching him to play cards for rations."  
  
"Safe enough," Levi said.  He gave Moblit a bland look, glared daggers at Hange, and then glanced back at Erwin.  He opened his mouth as if to speak, shut it, then opened it again.  Erwin's heart stopped beating as he waited for the world to forget that he'd ever gotten something he'd really, really wanted.  
  
"Erwin.  I'm taking a bath.  Do we need to talk?"  
  
His gaze was steady, though his lips twitched a little as he said it.  A hopeful thought was born in Erwin's brain.  
 _Translation,_ it said.  _I want to talk, and also will maybe let you take a bath with me_.  
  
Erwin's heart started beating again, all on its own, the dear thing.  "Yes.  We need to talk," he said, standing.  
  
"Let's go, then," Levi said.  He made a final and very rude gesture at Hange on his way out.  
  
  
 **End  
**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments, concrit, flames, all loved.
> 
> Aaaaand now I think I need to write something dark, serious and plotty. Also with smut, though.


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